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Angrier, Nerdier, And On Select Screens

WARNING: The following post contains spoilers for a movie currently viewable via both YouTube and Vimeo’s On-Demand services, if you have yet to see the movie, either click HERE or HERE

The film begins with the tritagonist, Mandi explaining to her bosses at Cockburn Industries the (recently debunked) urban legend the mass burial of over 2 million copies of the worst video game ever made, E.T. (it’s spelled Eee Tee here because Copyrights but I’ll use it’s proper spelling here, also the gameplay footage is different). After that, she proposes to her bosses the idea to develop an intentionally badly made sequel to the game, E.T. 2, Mandi’s employers wonder how and why anyone would buy a bad video game, and Mandi explains that due to The Angry Video Game Nerd’s popularity, poorly made video game sales have skyrocketed, and a review of E.T. 2 would help with Cockburn Industries profits. Speaking of The Nerd…

Our opening credits begins with a montage of The Nerd’s reviews (or rather reviews made specifically for the film, because once again, copyrights) intermixed with clips from his fans all over the world telling him how amazing he is, including Adventure Time’s Jeremy Shada, and the late Justin “JewWario” Carmical. During the montage, all of his fans continuously keep asking him the same question: “When will you review the E.T. game?”. After the titles/montage, The Nerd and his assistant/friend Cooper Folly just finished filming the latest episode of AVGN. While wrapping up, The Nerd starting to get fed up with the fact that not only are his fans are going out and buying the video games that he’s told them to stay away from, but that at his job at GameCops, he is forced to promote and sell bad video games. While at work, Andre (“Black Nerd”) Meadows tells him about the Landfill, and him and several AVGN fans form a conga line, and once again begging him to review E.T., which drives him crazy and he runs off (if this happened to you in real life, wouldn’t you run away?).

Later that night, The Nerd and Cooper talk at a bar about why they can’t date, while this happens Mandi walks up and introduces herself to The Nerd and asks her to review E.T. 2. She shows him the gameplay demo and he proceeds to puke all over. In other words: No dice. Still doesn’t stop Cooper from flirting with Mandi.

At home, The Nerd has a nightmare, about him playing E.T. as a kid, and remembering how awful the game was. The next day after having some time to think, The Nerd decides to go to Alamangordo, New Mexico to debunk the mystery, with Cooper tagging along, and Mandi who’ll provide both funding and transportation for The Nerd from Cockburn.

During the drive to New Mexico, Cooper tells The Nerd and Mandi, the story about a mysterious entity called Death Mwauthzyx, a being who has the power to destroy both countless dimensions in the universe and all of existence. Little do the trio know, while Cooper talks about mystical creatures, they’re being tracked by the insane, and legless General Dark Onward (yes, that’s his actual name). Onward believes that the trio are looking for aliens, so he and his right-hand woman Sergeant McButter goes after them. They manage to catch up with them, and while he does his cliche villain activities, he accidentally blows off his right arm with a grenade, giving the trio time to escape.

The trio decide to search for the game’s creator, Howard Scott Warshaw, to see if he has any answers to the myth. Intead they come across Dr. Zandor, who tells them that E.T.’s level design is based on the Area 51 floor plan. Dr. Zandor, who worked at Area 51 at the time, gave the code to Warshaw to help him reach his five-week deadline Atari Co. set for the game’s completion, and to also exact revenge on the government for kidnapping and holding hostage an alien he was attempting to free. The government fought back, and ordered the burial of the E.T. cartridges, with Gen. Onward lead the mission. All the while, Zandor escaped with the unknown metal material Area 51 was studying at the time in an attempt to reassemble the alien’s spaceship. Zandor decides to take in the trio for the night, but Mandi gets captured by McButter, leading The Nerd and Cooper to think she was working Gen. Onward, so they decide not to save her.

The next day, The Nerd and Cooper head to the Alamagordo site, and see a large crowd of fans, Kyle Justin, and the head of Cockburn Industries promoting the release of E.T. 2 with the promise of digging out a copy of the original E.T. from the site itself. The Nerd tells fans that the cartridges aren’t there, but Howard Scott Warshaw walks in and tells the crowd the opposite. Irritated, The Nerd decides to break into Area 51, he succeeds, but gets captured by Gen. Onward. Having learned who he was, Gen. Onward forces The Nerd to play E.T., but that doesn’t work and The Nerd tells him Zandor stole the spaceship metal, and replaced it with tin foil. Enraged by the news, Onward fires a missle at Mount Fuji (the base model for the Atari logo), and while leaving the room gets his left arm off in the door. During the launch countdown, the alien resembling the alien from E.T. grabs The Nerd and pulls him to safety.

The destruction of Mount Fuji frees Death Mwauthzyx (who henceforth, will be known as D.M.), who was real along and trapped inside the mountain. Meanwhile, Mandi managed to keep McButter away from The Nerd and Cooper’s location altogether, eventually leading them to a confrontation on the Eiffel Tower in Las Vegas.

The Nerd and the alien escape in a fighter jet, while the alien reveals the D.M. can collapse dimensions and destroy all of existence using a satellite dish on top of his head. Cooper is captured by D.M.  and brought to Las Vegas, where Mandi defeats McButter and knocks her off the Eiffel Tower, where she falls to her death, but as she relishes her victory, Mandi also gets captured by D.M. The Nerd and the alien crash land at the cartridge site, where Zandor (who was captured by Onward), tells them that he the spaceship metal inside the millions of cartridges. The alien summons every copy of the game (including those belonging to Lloyd Kaufman and Doug Walker) and reassembles the ship. The Nerd and the alien leave for Las Vegas to stop D.M., and Gen. Onward is killed while trying to kill them.

Back in Vegas, The Nerd and the alien save Cooper and Mandi. The Nerd fires a laser at D.M.’s satellite dish, forcing him to fly away and disappear forever. The alien returns the trio to the site, where they reunite with Dr. Znador and The Nerd’s fans. Cooper and Mandi share a kiss for some reason, and the move ends with The Nerd finally reviewing E.T.

Before he starts, The Nerd reviews the sequel and immediately says it’s the worst, but doesn’t stand the test of time as the original. As everyone, including Mandi throws away their copies of E.T. 2, The Nerd finally gets to E.T., he declares that it’s not the worst game he’s ever played, calling it cryptic, challenging, and even addicting, but that still doesn’t change the fact that it’s a bad game.

REVIEW

As much as I hate to say it, the film was kind of a mixed bag for me. Now, while I did enjoy the concept of the film, there was so much wrong with it. I didn’t like the new sidekick characters, while Cooper wasn’t as bad, Mandi, she didn’t have an actual good reason to switch sides with the nerd, she did so at the drop of a hat, also the two kiss, WHY? Another thing is The Nerd wasn’t fleshed out, aside from being a satirical retro gamer, and that he cares about his fans, he doesn’t have much going for him in character development. But aside from that, there were some things I did enjoy, I already mentioned how much I love the concept, I also loved how over the to Gen. Onward is, you an tell the actor playing him (Stephen Mendel) was enjoying himself in the film, speaking of the acting in here was pretty good. And most of all, I love the B-movie style effects and action sequences. All and all, While not everything gelled, the film is still enjoyable. So, go check it out and come up with your own opinions.

And now, once again I’ll end this post with another hint for the 100th post, which actually fits in very well with AVGN, the movie I’m reviewing is based on a TV show. Next post is the Girl Meets World Recap.

RANK: 3 out of 5

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